Choosing your first sex toy can be tough. Go on any sex toy site, and you’ll be greeted by thousands of weird and wonderful contraptions of self-pleasure. But where do you start?

As a reviewer, I’ve seen my fair share of toys and there are a lot out there. I remember when I first started shopping for something to ‘spice things up’ – I was completely blown away with how much choice there was! It certainly made picking a starting point very difficult. So to make things easier for those tentatively taking their first steps towards purchasing a sex toy, I’ve compiled a short list of ‘must-haves’ – things that every budding sex toy collector should be stashing in their bedside cabinet. Although I warn you now, once you’ve started, you are going to need a bigger cabinet. Just saying…

The important thing to remember on choosing your first sex toy is that it is completely normal. Sex toys not only improve your solo experiences, but also when implemented correctly, can be a wonderful addition to the bedroom with your partner.


So let’s start off with one of the most important products that EVERYONE should have beside the bed…


The first thing really should be a good quality lube (and lots of it). Lube is probably the most vital piece of ‘kit’ in anyone’s toy box. I have bottles of the stuff. It’s useful for playing with toys, for sex, for masturbation, for massage… you can do SO much with lube, and for some things, it’s an absolute NECESSITY.

GiveLube Midi Water-Based Lubricant at For The ClosetWater-based Lubricant is the most versatile. It can be used for almost anything. The GiveLube LubeTube (100mls £10.99) is a brilliant lube that’s got a good consistency, and isn’t too sticky. It last for a while before you need reapplication and it’s odourless/tasteless. Alternatively, Liquid Silk (250mls £9.99) has a creamy texture, and comes in an easy to use pump bottle – making reapplication a cinch, even with slippery fingers. Both are completely safe to use for intercourse, with condoms and with sex toys.

Silicone Lubricants are designed to be longer lasting, silkier and don’t get sticky at all as they start to dry out. I prefer to use silicone lubricant during anal sex, as it lasts much longer. Not to be used with sex toys, unless they are made from steel or glass. Do not use with silicone toys as you could cause damage. Perfect Glide by Durex (50mls £15.00) comes in a bottle small enough to store in the bedside draw, and will last a long time. Alternatively, the glass bottle for the Uberlube (50mls £13.00) wouldn’t look out of place on a dresser.

Butt Plug

butt plug is a really good starting point for those who are looking to experiment with anal play. They can be used to help warm you up ready for anal sex, or can be worn during intercourse or masturbation to enhance sensations. When choosing a butt plug, make sure it has a sturdy, flared base to prevent unwanted travel, and plugs made from Silicone are going to be more comfortable and hygienic.

NS Novelties Renegade Butt Plug at For The ClosetThe Nexus Anal Butt Plug Starter Kit (£40.00) features 3 different plugs, made from soft silicone. They are all different sizes, allowing you to start small and work your way up.

Alternatively, there is the NS Novelties Renegade Small (£15.50), which features a slender, tapered shaft and has a suction cup, allowing for hands free insertion – great for playing around in the bath or shower.

Prostate Massager

As an extension to the butt plug, a prostate massager is an absolute must. The male G-spot is located about 3-4 inches inside the bottom and when stimulated, can lead to a truly mind-blowing hands-free orgasm. Of course, your mileage may vary, and it can take a lot of practice to achieve it – but these devices will certainly help you on your way.

The Nexus Glide (£30.00) is perfect for beginners. Its non-threatening size is easy to use, and is a static massager – meaning you manipulate the device using the kegel muscles. The steel ball massages the perineum, providing another level of stimulation.

The NS Novelties Renegade I (£35.50) is a vibrating massager, featuring an angled tip designed to rest against the prostate, whilst the intense vibrations tease and stimulate.

Cock Ring

cock ring is a round, stretchy ring that you slip either around the base of the penis, or behind the testicles. The effect of this is that your erections are firmer, bigger and they help heighten sensitivity leading to increased pleasure. They can also be used to help maintain an erection as it restricts the blood flow back into the body. They are sold in both vibrating and non-vibrating varieties.

Double Booster Cock Ring at For The ClosetThe Supersoft C-Ring (£9.50) is a great beginners cock ring – it’s a simple silicone loop that would fit most with average girth. The Double Booster (£7.00) is an adjustable ring that can be enlarged/made smaller dependent on size and level of comfort, making it suitable for almost anyone.

If you want something to provide some added tingle, then the Fifty Shades of Grey Feel It Baby Vibrating Cock Ring (£15.00) will provide some scintillating vibrations against the clitoris or perineum during sex.


Sometimes your hand gets a little bit boring – so spice things up with a masturbator. These are great fun to use solo, but they are also even more fun to use with a partner. Whether you take turns in using it, or you get then to use it on you (or vice versa) – and you don’t need to spend huge amounts of money on your first masturbator.

TENGA Deep Throat Cup at For The ClosetThe Mood Pleaser Thin Masturbator (£12.50) is a generic orifice that features a simple but pleasurable tight tunnel, leading you to explosive orgasmic bliss.

TENGA is also a fantastic brand to start off with. From this delightfully quirky Cloud Egg (£6.00) to Deep Throat Cup (£12.00) – these toys are cheap, and disposable – so if you don’t like it, you haven’t spent a lot – perfect for travel as well. If you want something discreet, but permanent – then look at the Re-Usable Air Tech Cup (£25.00) or this abstract Spiral TENGA 3D (£35.00).

Basic BDSM (Bondage) Kit

Bondage isn’t just for the experienced player. Even something as simple as a blindfold or some simple cuffs can create an erotic atmosphere like no other. And you don’t need to break the bank crafting a simple kit.

This simple blindfold (£14.00) is perfect for keeping your lover in the dark as you tease them. Are they ticklish? Graze their sensitive spots with this cute furry Tickle Me Tickler (£6.50). Gently restrain them with these Fifty Shades of Grey Totally His Soft Cuffs (£15.50). Alternatively, bag yourself a complete kit with the Nookii Slap and Tickle Kit (£25.00) featuring restrains, blindfold and a tickler!

Toy Care and Maintenance

Antibacterial Toy Cleaner at For The ClosetLastly, after all of that fun, you need something to keep your new purchases in tip-top shape. A good toy cleaner is a valuable addition to your toy box. Make sure you read the instructions/care advice for your sex toy to ensure that you clean it properly. You don’t want to damage your nice shiny new sex toy, do we?

This Antibacterial Toy Cleaner (118mls £6.50) comes in a handy spray bottle and is perfect for wiping down your butt plugs and masturbators and everything in between. It’s important to make sure everything is thoroughly dry before storing away your sex toys as well. A renewer powder is also a good idea, for use with masturbators. Once clean and dry, give them a sprinkle with the powder and it will have them feeling silky and soft again in no time.

So where can I purchase all of these fabulous products?

For The Closet is a UK based retailer that offers a wide range of products (over 5000!) to suit every taste and desire, ranging from the affordable to the high-end luxury toys. All orders are shipped in discreet plain packaging and delivery is FREE when you spend over £30. It’s also tracked and signed for, for that added benefit of security. Save money each time you shop as members earn 10% off their orders, and you earn ‘Closet Coins’ with each purchase (think clubcard points, but better). They also provide you with free batteries (should your new purchase require them).

This article has been commissioned by For The Closet Ltd. Words by The Big Gay Review. No affiliate links have been used in this post. 

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